MTC Address

Sister Tatiana Renee Brenchley
MTC Mailbox # 283
SPA-MAL 1214
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793

MTC Letter October 15, 2011

Hey guys! I miss you!! I'm here at the MTC, we got a short "P" day since we didnt get a chance to email on Thursday (which will be my usual P day after this) The food is awesome, well, it's not bad for mass production. They have exersise classes every morning for the sisters like yoga, kick boxing, pilates which is so nice!! Even though they're at 6am every morning. I am SO SORE!! And on top of that we have 45 mins of gym time. Sadly on our schedule it always falls after a meal!!! Yuck =( We also cant play soccer or basketball with the boys. Which is ok, but that means we're stuck with running on the track, weights, or volleyball (outside or inside) we went outside yesterday because it was so nice outside!!! The mountains are gorgeous, and our field is right next to the Provo temple so that's really nice too. We get to go to the temple on our P day and walk around the temple for an hr on Sunday. Thank goodness or I would feel trapped here. In just the few days that I've been here, it was a breath of fresh air being outside the MTC grounds. It's not that bad, but I'm sure in 3 weeks I'll be praying my Visa comes in so I can leave for civilization... And I thought Rexburg was a bubble!! It's not too bad. I can deal with it. I sent you guys a letter yesterday so hopefully you'll be getting it soon. We taught our first "investigator" yesterday. IN SPANISH!! He wasnt actually an investigator. He was a volunteer. Luckily my companion speaks a little spanish so she helped me out a lot. We're all learning all the gospel words since in school they typically dont teach you those kind of religious vocabulary words in school. What else... I only get 30 mins to email on P day so my emails may be a little short. I can write all day though. I also get letters/packages every day which is nice. Well, they deliver them every day lol. So if you want me to read something before Thursday, send it via snail mail. I have 9 other people in my district, 4 of the Elders are going to Long Beach California, Spanish speaking. And two are going to Colorado Springs (Morgan's mission!), also Spanish speaking. The other three are all sisters, who are awesome, and we are all going to Espania!! Sister Jorgenson is from Missouri, Sister Collett and my companion Sister Meldrum are both from Utah. They are all my room mates and are so so awesome!!! Yes I saw Mitch and he got me my scriptures. I rarely see him though. All of our schedules are different, there are HUNDREDS of elders and sisters here!!! Wednesday they had over 350 report! most from Utah of course =) so mom I probably wont find your friends daughter or Brother Price's nephew cause there are literally hundreds of missionaries in in the cafeteria and everything. I'll let you know if I happen to run into them though. I havent even been able to find Randall, he might be in my building because we're all Spanish speaking. We're right across from the gym, maybe you could find out where he's at and when his classes are, because like I said earlier, it's all different! The Spirit is so strong though!! I'm catching onto the Spanish sort of quickly I guess. Im working on praying and giving my testimony. Maybe I'll write it next time =) Well I miss you guys!! It's really weird not having a cell phone! haha, sometimes I still think I hear it. If you have any questions let me know!! I'll only get to write and email on P days just so you know. We dont really have time to anything else because we're either studying, learning, studying... or studying. It's so great though =)

Love you!!!

Hermana Tatiana Brenchley

Tatiana's Farewell Talk #2

Tatiana’s Farewell talk #2 Singles Ward

One of the great blessings that I have already noticed about serving a mission is the amount of opportunities I have to share with others about my church. Something that surprises a lot of people is how long I’ll be serving a mission. Since I have grown up in the church and learned about serving a mission for two years, or eighteen months so the length of time I’ll be gone is pretty normal, but others cannot even imagine spending three whole hours at church let alone giving up two years of their very valuable time. One of the things I’ve thought about lately was a very well known teaching of the Savior, that it is through us that others are blessed. We are Gods hand. Each of us should be serving mini missions in a way. Although we may not have a set schedule to do certain things, we should be reading our scriptures and conversing with the Lord on a daily basis, we should be prepared and excited to teach others about this wonderful gift we each possess, we should be worthy to receive direction from the Spirit and be prepared to follow what He asks of us. We should be looking for ways to serve our fellow brothers and sisters, even if it’s as small as a smile or holding the door for someone. During our daily activities we should be prepared to be Gods hand when He needs us. The only difference between you and I is that I won’t be doing anything for myself the next eighteen months, I will be specifically a tool in the Lords hand to touch the lives of others. I don’t know exactly where I will go or who I’ll be talking to, but I know that I’ll be ready when the Lord calls, and so should you.

President Uchtdorf gave a talk in the General Relief Society meeting a few weeks ago that I felt inspired to talk about. The title of his talk was “forget me not” and he started out by telling the sisters why this was his favorite flower and related it to five things that we should not forget. No Brethren, this also pertains to you so don’t fall asleep on me. 

First he says, Forget not to be patient with yourself. He goes on to say that God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.  He goes on to say,

Yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

It’s wonderful that you have strengths.

And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses.

God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,¹‍ but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect,²‍ and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.

Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.

Second, forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.

An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth. His example was, dedicating some of our time to studying the scriptures or preparing to teach a lesson is a good sacrifice. Spending many hours stitching the title of the lesson into homemade pot holders for each member of your class perhaps may not be.

The Third one is my favorite, forget not to be happy now

 In the beloved children’s story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,‍ the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka hides a golden ticket in five of his candy bars and announces that whoever finds one of the tickets wins a tour of his factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Written on each golden ticket is this message: “Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket … ! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! … Mystic and marvelous surprises … will … delight, … astonish, and perplex you.”³

In this classic children’s story, people all over the world desperately yearn to find a golden ticket. Some feel that their entire future happiness depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their hands. In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket.

So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”⁴‍ The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear.

This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude‍ and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.

I agree one hundred percent. I know so many people who are so focused on the future that they don’t take time to appreciate the present and see the little blessings.

Fourth, forget not the “why” of the gospel.

President Uchtdorf goes onto explain that many of us get caught up in the logistics of our callings he says, “In our diligent efforts to fulfill all of the duties and obligations we take on as members of the Church, we sometimes see the gospel as a long list of tasks that we must add to our already impossibly long to-do list, as a block of time that we must somehow fit into our busy schedules. We focus on what the Lord wants us to do and how we might do it, but we sometimes forget why.

My dear sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.

the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.

While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet.

Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us.

And Fifth, forget not that the Lord loves you.

wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.

Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!

The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird.
"Books I Have Read,"
"Lies I Have Told,"
"Comfort I have Given,"
"Jokes I Have Laughed at."

Some were almost hilarious in their exactness:
"Things I've yelled at my brothers."

Others I couldn't laugh at:
"Things I Have Done in My Anger"
"Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.

" I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched ," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.

One thought dominated my mind:

No one must ever see these cards!

No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!"

In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With."

The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all.

The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards.

I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments, couldn't bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room.

He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him.

His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

I know that this is true. I know that although it is hard at times to do the right thing, to pay our tithing, to come to church every Sunday, to do our callings to the best of our abilities, to serve our friends, to share our testimonies. I know that the Lord blesses us so much for the daily sacrifices we make. I know that this is the true church and I know the Book of Mormon and the Bible are true. I know that life becomes so much easier when you’re reading the scriptures and praying daily. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and he saw the Father and His son. Brother Callister gave an amazing talk about the Book of Mormon during conference, in it he said the Book of Mormon is either of God or of the devil. I know that it is of God and with that sacred book and the Bible we can know all truth. I know that President Monson is a true prophet of God and he receives revelation from our Father in Heaven and I am so grateful for conference and the opportunity to receive guidance from the leaders of our church, especially since they don’t speak in old English like the words of the scriptures and are so much easier to understand. I know that through trials we become stronger and if we stay strong and endure to the end, our testimonies will grow. There is nothing about this church that doesn’t reveal our Heavenly Father and our Savior’s love for us. I am so grateful for the temple and I know now why everyone speaks so highly of it and why it is so important to go on a regular basis, not just to do service for those who have passed on but also for ourselves. I am so grateful that anything I don’t understand I can search the scriptures or pray and I will find an answer. And I am so very grateful for the opportunity to serve a mission.